I’m worth more dead than alive

“I’m worth more dead than alive” you used to always say to me. But how much is a life really worth? You took out your life insurance before you were diagnosed with Hep C, before you knew your liver was already in the process of dying, before I could fathom that liver disease would kill you far too soon. Thank goodness my Hep C was cured.

I cried when I got the life insurance check. I cried when I deposited it. And today I cried again as I paid off my student loans – loans that took me to London, loans that brought me to Fin, loans that also took me away from you as your body slowly reached a point of no return. By the time I moved back it was the beginning of the end.

Always thinking of me you wanted to make sure I’d be ok after you died, your final gift for me. I am now debt free, but I’d rather have you back here with me. I’d multiply the loans by 10 if it meant I could hear you laugh again. Even if only for a moment longer.

How much is a life worth really?

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